But it’s not a play on Black Lives Matter or All Lives Matter.

Processional

This is a desperate plea to be sister cities with Cincinnati.

Ah, yes...Oakland.

And the best part about them if they lose? The takes that say, oh, well, Steph was hurt and, well, their feelings were hurt too, and the season with them having to play on-the-road, out-of-time-zone, games wasn’t fair, and not really comparable to the rest of the league, and, Steve Kerr really is a good coach, it just…

Pandas are already extinct. Those are just people in costumes acting for your amusement.

yeah but if you don’t support everything Obama stands for, then you’re a racist and hate poor people

Come on, we all know Bono bought that iPod himself.

Eventually we need a column explaining the origin of ‘yoffs just so everyone can have a collective laugh.

Is a half-earned star good for at least some mouth herpes?

I accidentally rented It Follows because I wanted to grab a generic horror movie to watch with a girl I met on Tinder and didn’t actually read anything about the movie. It was so bad and awkward to watch we had no choice but to have sex.

And people still try to say that Spoelstra draws up good last-minute plays. Just pathetic.