To egalitarian52a,

Hahaha, thank you for bringing this to our attention. My attitude went from "live and let live, and maybe this article is a little unnecessary" to "fuck that guy" in one block quote.

Yeah, I don't recognize at least 75% of the words in this article. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The story seems to be that they're not putting actual opium in the soup, but the actual opium poppy plants, which makes more sense, since opium poppies are also the ones used in producing the edible seeds, and the plants themselves are eaten at various stages. I've just read something that indicates that dried,…

Now come on Kelly, you left out the best part of that douchetastic USA Today interview:

I've got one of those. He's the best ever. They also live forever- he's 23.

I was walking down a very busy street once (Michigan Ave. in Chicago) and was stopped in my tracks by a huge crowd of people. I thought it might be a particularly good "human statue" street performer, but no: it was the biggest Newfoundland I had ever seen. People were amazed and taking pictures. A young boy buried…

DACSHUNDS!!! (Here's Mine)

Maybe Scottish by ancestry, but these boys are naturalized Americans now. As patriotic as apple pie.

Totally reminds me of my pittie.

My mutt is a Ridgeback mix!

No, that would be a $4.70 tip on a $23 tab. Math is your friend, don't push it away!

Attention bad tippers: Paris Hilton is now a better person than you are. BOOM.

Wow!

Every couple of years I read some variant of this story. Either it's an urban legend that won't die, news outlets keep returning to an old story without realizing it's old, or China has a serious problem with noodle shops putting opium poppies in the food. CNN claims that it's a reoccurring problem, noting earlier…

As a recovering opiate abuser, I can confidently say this is a brilliant idea. I mean, not for a restaurant, but for personal use. I had zero appetite when I used opiates and getting my drugs and food as a twofer would have been awesome. But serving your unwitting customers opiates... no. Don't do drugs, kids. Stay in…

Does he put a pasty over his sphincter or does the butt just get 0 coverage?

How did you leave out this gem?!

Lady lead singer of well-known metal band. Very rare. Go ladies! She's replacing the former front alien who died.

A reporter dared ask Vulvatron, the new frontwoman of GWAR, whom she slept with to get into the band. Her response was simply lovely: