We were flying home once from a family vacation and because we were on my dad's frequent flyer tickets, they had to separate us all over the plane. My parents each sat with one of my younger siblings, and I was stuck next to some random sweaty dude who was day drinking double whiskeys and reading Playboy the entire…
Let us know if he starts taking on new personality traits. I imagine it'll be like the Edgar Suit in MIB.
I recall a West coast to East coast trip on which a toddler cried, in that grating, HORRIBLE way that worms its way past your inner ear to your very brain. The young Mom was young and ineffectual but — it's a restless kid, you know? I stuffed my ears with tissues, but the guy in front of her (clearly a New Yorker)…
Someone did it behind me in church one day. CHURCH.
Just be glad smoking on planes is illegal now. I had a guy chain smoke cigars next to me on a Boston to Milan flight.
A co-worker of mine got to move into a new office several months ago. The previous occupant had retired. After my co-worker moved in, he opened the center desk drawer and discovered it was full of fingernail clippings. Full. Of. Fingernail. Clippings.
Once, in its early infancy before everyone knew it was a hate group, my mother bought me Chik-Fil-A at a mall food court. I was only allowed to have soda at the mall food court, so I sucked down my Coke with gusto.
I popped open the lid of the now-empty cup to chew the ice and noticed something dark at the bottom of…
Gads. I absolutely hate when my coworker in the office next to me clips her nails. I can't imagine being right next to that for a whole flight. I'd end up shoving the nail clippers up her nose and yelling, "Clip this, bitch!"
Oh man, when you fly for business, you learn so much about the human condition.
I literally hate you right now for sharing that story.
Oh no. Oh nooo I can win this one. I actually just dove unto the archives of my Facebook timeline to find this rant I posted two years ago and took a screenshot. It is glorious. I have never encountered such a terrible specimen in my life. Our flight was severely delayed while they waited for the food carts, but when…
Geez, I've flown a lot and never had to encounter most of that stuff. I would say the biggest pet peeve of mine (other than chatty seat mates) are when you're de-boarding the plane, the people in the aisles BEHIND me try to get ahead of me. Almost every time. I feel white-hot rage every time this happens. I rarely let…
Apparently the people who rented our apartment before we did used to clip their nails over the bathroom sink.
I know, because when it stopped up we snaked it and thousands of nasty, half-rotted toenails spewed forth.
I still can't put my face near the sink.
I'm sorry, the angry women hater site is around the corner. Just take a left on crazy street and follow the marching fedoras.
Just took a red-eye to Latin America Monday night and had one of the worst seatmates I've had in years. I'm totally cool with giving the armrest to the middle seat person, but dude pulled a "guy saving room for cat" and was leaning his leg on me in addition to having his arm totally over the armrest up against me the…
Or a fork.
Why why why would you take your shirt off during a flight? First of all, it is FAA regulations that the cabin temperature on all flights be no higher than 7 degrees fahrenheit at all times. Second, those seats are so, so itchy. I'm getting sympathy hives just looking at that photo.
Give me a feather. I guarantee those suckers will move.