When they give you a key to the city, it doesn’t actually mean anything right? Like it’s just a photo op for your city council rep to get out of the office for the day, glad hand, and eat some ice cream?

But but but if he did his job like he was supposed to and not violate the fourth amendment then how on earth is he supposed to look like the cop with the most power and biggest penis in front of all the other cops!?! Did you even think about how important his ego is to him Stig? I bet you didn’t.

It’s crazy how much shit she got for that speech and she was only 19. Also it’s crazy how everyone looked so old to me back then and now looking back they all look like babies. People are crazy. Time passing is crazy. Everything is crazy!

God, I spent so many hours as a teenager, lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling with Fiona Apple blasting. Love her.

A victory for body cameras

Well you didn’t raise your daughters under a rock, so that makes sense.

Why not simply label all clothes “Kids”?

Titties: baby tested, pervert approved.

I went through a phase.

Ya, we used to play chicken with trains on a tressel.

Did your friends turn you into a vampire too?

These are exceptionally well done, but I still find the thirst to be on Ellen grating. I’m totally open to the idea that I’m just being a cynical asshole though.

Cultural appropriation isn’t stealing.

Not only are we talking about something that can’t be owned, person A wearing braids does not prevent person B from also wearing braids. No one “stole” anything with how they do their hair.

At this point I’d like to act a practical question. If you’re taking a medication, that says you shouldn’t drink while using it, then why are you on a reality show built around drinking?

I have very mixed feelings about this whole concept. I totally agree that white people - because they’ve been in power - get to just take what they want w/o thinking about it and that sucks. But on the other hand, who cares if Katy Perry or Gwen Stefani wear some crazy outfit with a cultural theme? I mean, I was…

Sorry, Bari, you lost me at “Stealing is wrong, but.”

Good christ do you people have a lot of rules.

I don’t know, guys...I’m starting to think maybe we have a commander-in-chief with the temperament of a petulant child.

So how long will it be until it’s only he and the kids, all wandering around an otherwise empty White House in their bathrobes, still trying to figure out how to turn the lights on?

“President fires Sun and Moon after more people turn out to watch eclipse”