Amen, I read one line and rolled my eyes into next year.

Or AMERICAN STEEL for that pipeline/wall

Same!! I pined to shop at BeBe, even before I was the mom of two muffin pan that I am now, but damn that stuff was tiny.

He’s so busy! But he is my dream boyfriend.

DODAI? What? Do my eyes betray me? Is Lindy West gonna pop back on the scene next? Am I hallucinating?

I know someone who accidentally fed their kids something. horror story.

Haha, come look at my makeup cabinet and tell me about responsibility. ;)

I haven’t had new tattoos since I had to start paying my student loans, and those are for the next 20 years so... probably not. If you pay for it, I will do it!

I literally was at the zoo yesterday and looking at a giraffe’s cute cute face thinking, “Huh maybe a giraffe tattoo would be cute...”

He was on some late night show and told another story like this he asked his wife if he had to give up something for whatever religious holiday people give stuff up for, what would it be? She said, “Complaining.”

16- Staying 3 car lengths behind the line at a red light. In traffic, where there are multiple lights. UGHARHGH. having to wait for 2 or 3 light changes because so many people can’t pull the F forward will be the death of me on my horrible commute.

We just got a car that beeps if you go out of your lane, my husband calls it his “Painful right arm” alarm, because I always thought he was driving out of his lane, but now I have PROOF.

Driving with both feet has to be the answer with those folks, right?? How else are they speeding up AND flashing brake lights? My husband and I wonder all the time.

Bravoooo. Took me too long to figure out.

The two girls in the pic, Blue, missing Solange. Where’s my money?

Or that Blue was there somewhere

Get a grip!

As a mom who was just pumping and dealing with latch issues I love this so. My son is now latching and I can laugh but damn, I was there. I hope I wasn’t that much of a dick.

Her eyes always look dilated, how are her pupils so large??

Her mom cut her off