GET ON THE PAYLOAD

I had this on my wall in 7th & 8th grade

It’s kind of fitting that this controversy is really just an extension of the club pretending to care in the first place. ...Is there any world in which a team potentially poised to end the longest championship drought in their sport does not trade for a closer who throws 104 mph? The whole charade that they had to be…

Fun fact about the Deadspin staff: It is a colonial organism made up of many super super small things called morons.

The leader is currently destroying an original Mickey Mantle rookie card. That kind of confident display should be demoralizing the 2nd place rider who's only using a Sammy Sosa Baltimore Orioles card.

I totally understand where the Thunder are coming from on this one. The longer they keep me waiting, the less money I give waiters.

Investors are confused!

Server issues always seem to strike just as I place a lure and fire off incense.

If he dies, he dies

Understandable; the servers can hardly handle the US + Europe.

I prefer something a bit more wild.

I’ve always been impressed with Jeff Gordon’s driving abilities, and I am equally impressed with his common tater abilities. Great job, Jeff!

I don’t think this is that rare of a thing, actually. I watch a lot of Nationals games, and I think Jonathan Papelbon must do it too, as players instruct him to ‘get fucked’ all the time.

This is Deadspin...there’s even fucking Truther Truthers.

I couldn’t agree more. I loved the NES, and I’m sure I’ll get this, but my heart lies with the SNES. So many incredible games. I’d buy one for Super Metroid alone.

It’s all fun and games until Nintendo makes Mario Kart GO and thousands of people clog up the racetracks looking for Blue Shells at KartStops.

POLICE UNIONS.

I think the pope would be more of a DOOM guy myself.