Several glaring omissions on this list, but I’ll stick with the first that popped into my head.

But can Brock Turner eat steak again yet?

Formula Drift @ Wall Stadium Speedway, Wall Township, NJ. First races were yesterday. Starts at 1.

Good choice. Mine is “Super”: it’s the first time you really see the pants shittingly terrifying power of The Machine, and the first seed is planted that The Machine is more than just a people monitoring software.

As much as I love Person of Interest, the episode I always come back to is “Super”. First, John telling Finch that to defend himself, all he needs to do is jam his thumb in the attacker’s eye and then twist until you hit his brain makes me laugh every time (mostly at Finch’s “PLEASE STOP”).

I largely agree with you, but Stone Cold John McCain did wreck McConell’s shit on Obamacare.

Penis clinic ftw.

Yes, this is a bad movie. But I love it completely and always go to bat for it.

Ahhhhhhh this totally explains why a dozen Austin cops detained myself and two of my friends and aggressively questioned us even though we literally did nothing illegal in 2013. Sounds like a real shithead.  

I had the pleasure of spectating Rally Mexico a few weeks ago; those cars are freaking amazing. Loved the rally, but I don’t think I’ll be going back until the cartels are dealt with. I had no problems, but their specter loomed large over the event.

I work for a truck upfitter; basically we buy steel and aluminum service and dump bodies and install them on a bare chassis cab.

Real talk: I can’t tell which of the US or U.K. has the more fucked up political situation. Everytime I think one side has the edge, the other does something profoundly stupid and I have to reconsider.

Hmmm, I wonder where Jon Nolan got that idea from...

15) Zardoz

THE ENTIRE ALPHABET ONLY HAS ONE MORE LETTER!

YOU STOPPIT WITH YOUR LOGIC RIGHT NOW.

Fancy Kristen and Torchlopnik: opposite ends of the socio-economic spectrum, and the best parts of Jalopnik.

Of course it is.

The worst part is that is actually innacurrate; the state senators squashed the bill WHILE THEY WERE TRAVELING. Couldn’t do it while looking them in the eye.

Answer: there is only one acceptable response to this inquiry, you worthless meatbag.