Alarm - coffee - dump - teeth - shower - make lunch - go to work. Duh.

Any town in southwestern Ontario could support a team. I nominate Kingsville.

One Dong Two Cups?

Protect And Swerve

Two Dudes Two Cups

Even the fighting in baseball is un-athletic.

It was mesmerizingly bad. It’s the “deep” show that David Brent would make if given a chance. Ricky lost all self-awareness when people started calling him a comedy genius. It’s happened to others, but this is extra grim.

I coached high school basketball, and about halfway through the season the players got together and requested that I start yelling at them.

I’d have liked to see him try to pull that shit with Nolan Ryan - he’d end up in a headlock.

Which bracket is Xander Bogaerts in?

The kid is just gonna have to grin and Barrett 

Exhibition Stadium - I used to watch the first inning of a game on tv, and if it caught my fancy I could streetcar down there, get a $4 bleacher seat, and catch the top of the third.

Ok, you try to tour after having your 19th nervous breakdown...

Back when chicken wings were a big thing, my roommate attempted to deep-fry a batch. He knocked the deep fryer and spilled the contents onto the carpeted kitchen floor, and did not clean it up for our entire sophomore year.

The punster is the ultimate oblivious shitty roommate. No, wait - the prankster is number one.

Ain’t no mountain high enough to block out these allegations.

This is worse than Yentl, and that is really saying something.

I’m assuming that the members of Nickleback were home-schooled?

Time to move to Quebec City.

George Gervin approves.