26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

Wait until you read #201, Jim Beaver. 😄

NO PECAN!? Philistine.

I thought the last 10 months would have been sufficient warning about the dangers of replacing a competent black man with an inexperienced and unqualified white guy, but here we are again.

But we’re supposed to “compromise” with these people, and we’re not supposed to call them stupid.

They deserve to be bankrupted by high medical bills and die angry and alone. Fuck these people and everyone like them.

I’ll go a head and say it. Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell. I’ve become sick and tired of the lie that every life is valuable and means something. What value do pissed off racists who are too uneducated and downright stupid to know that their orange savior doesn’t give a fuck about them. That…

The sad thing about America is that we’re carpet-bombing and bulldozing the Middle East when we should be doing that to these towns here. I don’t care about their economic depression or anything, these are just horrible people. Fuck Johnstown, PA and fuck these residents.

to be fair, Simmons did write some pretty gross things about women and gay people back in the day. specifically, didn’t he write an entire column that boiled down to “soccer—what a buncha fags, amiright?” while at ESPN?

But Steelers fans and soggy sandwiches are trying to ruin it again...

THE BEST PICKLE IS NO PICKLE. Pickles are disgusting. Why do people love them so much??

I can’t blame them, but they’re going to be disappointed.

Ok, now if you really want to live here’s what you do. You do the same steps dear old Albert dictated. His analysis and direction is pinpoint precise, and perfect in every sense of the word. But only when it comes to the sugary wholesomeness of the marshmallow. That stuff he said about graham crackers and chocolate…

Everyone knows Bojangles is better than Popeye’s.

Sources are now indicating that the heated argument was sparked Period’s menacing threat to turn Colon into a Semicolon.

The shroom money comes from Ilana’s crazy tip money. (800 bucks in a night????)

Tom Cruise didn’t even know he was in that vampire movie until years later.

After 10 months of a category 7 hurricane of shit, I am simply spent of rage. This week alone has drained every last erg of violent, uncontrollable anger.

You signed off on the proofs.

Step 1: Avoid going anywhere near rattlesnakes or their notes habitats