“is scheduled to wear a polo”

“I have to look in the mirror.”

With regard to Capri Sun:

2009 World Series. Phillies beat Yankees and repeat as champs six months after Harry Kalas died. Cliff Lee gets a ring and probably doesn’t get traded, and maybe the Phillies don’t lose to the shitass Giants and fuckface Cody Ross in 2010 (Which, if it fit the criteria, would be my choice 100 times out of 100. That…

In order to require 50 undefeated seasons to reach .500, they’d have to have lost 8,100 more games than they’ve won. Their all-time record is 9,163-10,253.

You’re a monster. Mac n cheese should be third at worst, and under no circumstances ranked lower than fucking coleslaw.

Me too. So far so good!

See, I really like where the Lips have gone. At least with their last couple of albums. I didn’t really bother with the Miley/Kesha stuff but pretentious isn’t really a word I’d use to describe them. They genuinely seem like they’re having fun doing whatever weird shit they feel like, rather than trying to be…

I absolutely love Radiohead but a lot of their fans are insufferable. There are plenty of other artists in music and other media about whom this can be said.

It is also possible, and very easy, to be a fan of a band/book/film/whatever and not be a dipshit about it. Just recognize that art is subjective and not…

Justin Bieber, Beyonce, and Taylor Swift are pop, not rock. Kanye is hip hop. Twenty One Pilots is some kind of bullshit that is definitely not rock. Babymetal is, uh, metal.