“Yeah, see, here’s your problem: these teams fucking suck.”

it would be a smart move on the person who punched to come in and tell his side before we get the victim and hear his side.

Whenever I’ve left a job by mutual agreement, the boss said, “You’re fired,” and I said, “If that’s the way you feel, I don’t want to work here anymore.”

Mike! You do not come to Las Vegas and talk to a daily football fantasy website like DraftKings like that!

That’s fucked up. Anyway, you guys wanna see my autographed photo of LL Cool J?

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

It’s gonna suck when Steve Bartman sneaks up there and steals the ball before Game 6 of the NLCS.