(obscene vas deferens)

Yeah, I'm not sure if it's a sense of entitlement that makes people think anything less than a completely original story is unworthy of their approval or if it's a profound misunderstand of not just film-making but storytelling in general.

He's the monster to their Dr. Frankenstein. The GOP meddled with forces it didn't understand (fear-mongering and Republican voters) and now here's this creature lurching towards them, bent on their destruction, and they have no idea how to stop it.

No, Shaft was on VHS too.

"So just electronically process your digital sources to add the distortion and EQ that gives vinyl its characteristic sound."

This thing which the World Wide Web has done?

Well, I think it goes without saying that I'm misreading my Facebook friends. And are they really even my friends?

Well, no, I know you were kind of kidding with that headline, but I've noticed a lot of people on Facebook excitedly talking about the imminent Kingsmoot like if it's going to be the next Red Wedding. Maybe we'll see some reaction videos on Youtube of people watching the Kingsmoot scene screaming and bursting into…

Wasn't the Kingsmoot just people gathering to talk about why they should be the leader? Not sure why everyone has "Kingsmoot Fever" now. Maybe the show will make it exciting?

Kylo: How capable are your soldiers, General?

Leia: "I love you!"
Han: "I know…" [sound of carbonite freezing chamber drowns out rest of line] "But I gotta tell you that I'm super gay. Sorry I didn't say anything sooner, just thought I'd give this heterosexuality thing one last go. It's just not working out for me though. Can you tell Luke that I love HIM? Kay,…

I once had this idea for an alternate Superman origin story in which his ship collides with a small asteroid en route to Earth and instead of crashing in a field in Kansas in the 1940s, he crashes outside of Moscow and is raised with Communist ideals and grows up to fight for Mother Russia.

Rick Moranis looks down and whispers "no."

"Zac Efron, Seth Rogen Dick Over Conan O'Brien After High-Speed Chase Under Influence of Mushrooms"

I think it's more than 15 minutes. Maybe the first third of the movie is a remake of the original Evil Dead and then it continues from there (with Ash becoming possessed). It's a remequel.

Dammit! I botched the joke! I meant to type "mother."

He doesn't hate ALL women. Just your mother. She knows why.

"Rowan is an “ultimate loner”" and a “very smart genius type…”

But when I try to support diversity by watching female washing from behind that wall at the gym, suddenly I'm the bad guy!

Nintendo: The NX is the console that plays YOU!
Reporter: What does that mean?
Nintendo: … [runs away]