Right, because asking a sales person for a size and finding out they don't carry it is the same as having someone make unsolicited comments about your weight and being asked to leave the store.

Yeah, cheap perfume gives me a headache — where's the Bath & Body Works tax?!

Part of me hopes that one of the guards "forgets" to lock his cell...

Does anyone roll their eyes when someone calls the Bible the greatest story ever told? A year ago I read the Bible. THE WHOLE THING! I thought Edith Hamilitons' Mythology was much more interesting.

No mention of Kirk Cameron. All these movies must include him.

If this were me as a teenager:

Hey, I think you're the perfect person to try out my new, patented Nancy Pelosi meme!!!!!! Awesome, thank you so much!!

I wasn't sure whether you are a troll or not, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Because??????

you're confusing snark with "lazy writing"