Semi-related: we got my sister a Tickle-Me-Elmo for Christmas when she was four. The package started giggling as she was opening it; she screamed and screamed and screamed. We took out the batteries and she loved it for years.

Okay, so Russian drivers apparently all have dashcams, because corrupt highway patrol and, IDK, it’s Russia, and someone posted this compilation video of people doing this! This is hilarious! I could watch this all day.

They have weird knees even without proportion adjustments.

This! I was recently stuck behind someone at a security gate who had a full-on meltdown because they wanted her to follow the same procedures that literally everyone else follows. She was just utterly shocked to find out that, no, you cannot wear your coat and jewelry and shoes through the full body scanner.

I mean, sure, every added job is good. But touting that number like we’re all supposed to be mesmerized is ridiculous. Even in a hard-hit area, 5,000 jobs isn’t much.

I’m sure that somehow, Utah will figure out how to make money off of tourists. It might be pretty hard for the state that, you know, makes millions off of tourists every year in Park City, Moab, St. George, Zion, etc.

IDK, I’ve seen multiple quotes from SL county-area legislators saying they consulted their bishops before making decisions on bills. Not to mention all of the city/county/state benefits the church gets, like being able to buy real estate in the middle of a major city for a dollar and build a shopping mall.

All of the lying and other Carrot-nonsense aside, 5,000 jobs doesn’t seem like a large number when we’re talking about a country with 310 million people. That sounds like bringing one box of crackers to feed a stadium of people.

This was spectacular. I want to print it out and paper the walls with it.

The real irony is that Utah was founded as a place explicitly beyond the reach of the constitution, and a lot of the political decisions these days are made indirectly by the church, which is a very direct violation of that document they’re harping on about.

I am so glad Obama did this. Bears Ears will protect a lot of beautiful, culturally-important land from the myopic, greedy fuckery Utah’s legislators manage to get into all the time. Better it be used as a natural resource for all to enjoy than stripped of its resources for the benefit of the few.

I’m fine with the feds owning a majority of my state. They do a better job managing it than my own idiot legislators ever have.

See that is dumb and adorable and I love it to pieces.

See, that’s the kind of commitment I’m talking about. People remember your nuptials when one of the wedding colors is camo.

The idea that a child is some kind of “appropriate punishment” is appalling. The self-restraint involved in avoiding assault charges in that moment is impressive.

Don’t we all?

See, I want a legit wetlands theme- if the bride’s not shuttled in on an airboat wearing white waders and mosquito netting, I’m calling shenanigans.

I want to see a wetlands-inspired wedding now.

This was delightful, confusing magic and made being at work today better, thank you.

Arrival is the first movie in a long time where I keep thinking about it during random parts of my day. Easily my new favorite movie.