“Crippling America” will also be the title of the first book on the Trump presidency.

Think how dumb you’d need to be for this guy to sound smart; that’s the terrifying thing.

My mom, for the last year was nearly immobile because of what the doctor thought was her back but turned out to be her hip. In that time, my amazing Dad, a former blue collar dude that didn’t know how to do anything more domestic than fry hotdogs, now is a wizard at laundry, vacuuming, can cook a marinated pork roast…

I really like washing dishes. It’s somehow soothing.

I just wish certain vegans would understand that not every person comes from the same place of privilege.

I hated hipsters before it was cool to hate hipsters.

I’m 38 and I still haven’t yet met one of these infamous condescending, militant vegans I hear so much about in my right-wing family members’ email forwards.

No gonna try and speak to your experience or anything, but I’ve seriously never understood this “vegan dictating their life choices to others” archetype as anything but a paranoid fantasy of people who feel somehow attacked by the personal choices of others which in no way affect anyone else.

I am running for the Republican nomination for President.

Back before the first Republican debate, I remember seeing a list of largely tongue-in-cheek suggestions for how to make the process not terrible. One I remember that I actually thought sounded like a good idea is that nobody going for a major party nomination can sign a book deal or book a speaking engagement for a…

I considered myself privileged because my parents had $2000 to lend me when I lost my job.

The money thing matters because Donald’s entire campaign is built on the idea that he would be a good president because he’s such a great businessman.

When someone (Nokia, maybe? can’t recall) first added a camera to a cell phone, producing those crummy pictures some of us still recall, I thought: who needs it? Who will ever use it, when they can just carry around a little digital point-and-shoot?

I feel so dirty admitting this, but I need to share it to absolve my guilt.

100% for traditional marriage!

Where the hell else are we going to get bad ideas for sex acts delivered with that much alliteration? “Thirty-Six Ways to Drive Your Man WILD” doesn’t fucking write itself, you know.

So you can complain/humblebrag- humbleplain?- about it.

The Catholic Church as an institution is almost two millennia old and spans many cultures and continents. As such, it has historically been adept at catering to or outright co-opting local and preexisting customs and beliefs: this has been a major reason for its spread and continued survival. The Pope is on board with…

It’s not fair to expect people to be familiar with the details of their own religions, most people aren’t theologians. All she knows is she doesn’t like gays, loves attention, and she feels like her religion can help her with that. And we should respect that.