I’m sorry, but that headline and graphic had me anticipating something much, much more ambitious than a set of sausages with toppings inspired by the flavors of other dishes (well, 5 dishes and 1 liqueur).

I was literally expecting a pizza run through the grinder into some sort of casing and then grilled and dropped on…

Not bad, but I’m holding out for diva cup shooters.

Personally, I prefer a muff to a scarf.

You’re the person everyone in this article is trying to get away from. 

Go screw yourself, frankly. I love Mercy and I love healing but GUESS WHAT? Most of the time I get stuck healing because either A) no one else will or B) some poor stupid soul did actually go healer and I’m not going to let them carry that burden alone.

Boys only group? So Genji, Hanzo, Doomfist, 76, Reaper, Bastion and McCree all flashing their portraits until someone relents and picks Roadhog? Next time you hear a dude in a voice chat, wait for his pissing and moaning about not being able to run DPS like he always does... The reason? I don’t know. You tell me.

As a female, I can say that this is sadly true. But here’s why- it’s because men almost always go DPS. Sometimes you’ll get a tank (or two, if you’re lucky), but very rarely will someone go healer. If they do- fantastic. But as someone that prefers to flex to what the team needs, I have to go healer 95% of the time.…

Or just use whatever the dick you’d like because no one is giving you Awesome Points for this shit.

Clearly one of the defensive linemen shouted DROP THE FOOTBALL in his best Publix security guard voice