Meanwhile Eli Manning’s lawsuit against Minute Maid for their juice boxes being too hard to open goes tragically unreported on.

Why do lawyers insist on using those black highlighters?

Regular old empathy? Carrol will pass

Phil would have better weed.

I dunno. Jerky still sounds like a common bathroom activity.

Yeah, this is just another paper on the evidence pile for “Dan Harmon is probably not fun to be around in the long term.”

I can Loot.

This is less the “Great Job, Internet” section and more a new section called “That’s Probably Not A Compliment”.

Some people had fun with that portrait.

Not only handsomer in person than in pictures, Eric is tall, even taller than his father.

Alternate article title: The Whites Continue to White So Hard

It’s best for ZZ to go out on Top.

Zidane must have really felt like he was banging his head against the players in that locker room.

While USA loses Smackdown, they now have the ability to reinvest in USA original programming that no one I know has ever watched but somehow feature future princesses. I’m sure they will produce new shows called Illegal Briefs and Pink Slips.

I know. Intolerance of intolerance is the worst kind of intolerance, isn’t it.

He used his last shot to kill his wife.

That means there’s a spot on the lineup now for “Kevin”.

Otherwise you could end up with something like this...

Moldy grapes are better than rotten apples! Fight me!

Come on now, folks. What did you expect a bunch of avowed Christians to do, clothe and feed them?