+1 Jesus Christ pose

I want to star this so bad, but you’re currently at 69, so...

I can’t say I’ve ever hear of a Florine that wasn’t a Mark.

She skis like how my grandma played Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2.

He still drinks his own pee.

I don’t think Paul F Tompkins has the range to pull that one off.

Who the hell is Tabitha Lumen?

Would you like an alcohol?

+1 intentionally awkward rubbing motion.

Oh cum on.

Wait, don’t no no no no no!

“It’s hard to have a frotting party if there aren’t an equal amount of penises.”

-Shane Smith

I’ve just given up.

(plays “Everybody Hurts,” cries over a bottle of Wild Turkey)

If I didn’t have any knowledge of either person I would have sworn we were living in a game of D&D.

Well, they could protest by putting on their masks,since the IOC seem pretty cool with them...

My friend wants to make a pizza place called “Jesus Chrust,” with religious themed decor and pizzas. She also wants to open it in Indiana and offer free slices to anyone who kisses someone of the same sex for “Gay Tuesdays” because “Jesus wouldn’t put shame on that.”

“Khakis look good with anything, why is that even a question?”

- Jim Harbaugh

“I do declare, this fudge is coming out one way or another.”

Caught myself saying “this town needs an enema” not that long ago, still holds up.

“Wanna know how I got this scar? It’s not as interesting as you’d expect...”

“Did America always dominate?”