Nail fashion seems to be passing from auto-painting to custom van-painting. I shiver in anticipation for the eventual tutorial on stylizing a wizard and a naked chick riding a unicorn toward a castle...

"I recently undertook a small survey of some more mature male friends, and the results, while not unanimous, were overwhelming."

While we will have the power of cybernetics in the future, we will lack the power of showercurtainetics.

My English professor in college. It is a moment that will live in infamy, changing forever how I read poetry...

Hey now, pink skin...

Were I drunk in the presence of Emily Dickinson, I'd probably ask her if she knew that all her poems could be read to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas", because that shit drives me NUTS.

The insect world buzzes in hurt confusion...

I mostly hate this, but at the same time I'm not sure doing the "right" thing in terms of this case would have been better in terms of precedent for all cases. We have to have an age at which a person is expected to make their own sexual choices, and scooting that age limit upward seems to be playing into the hands…

Isn't oral sex more often complained about than lauded?

A lot of this attitude comes from the fact that men get their sex education from pornography. "Bad at sex" translates more often than is admitted to an unwillingness on the part of women to be sodomized, throated, and jizzed-upon. I don't think it's a matter of female enthusiasm as much as it's just a lack of…

My wedding had no theme, but the reviews and revenues of my marriage often evoke Gigli...

Hmmm, I would have thought, had fashion writers lived in the 14th century, they would have been more in line with the Inquisition...

New from John Norman: Prom Dates of Gor!!

Yeah, most workers around the world would really, really hate it if their companies treated them like this... really... like livestock!! All that feeding them and stuff...

Yeah, but would the beaver fur industry really have that kind of output? Is there a beaver fur industry anymore?

Wrong about what? You say in one breath it isn't about jabbing Christians and in the next you say it's valid to use christian symbols as a jab, even though you say creationism doesn't equate to christianity.

NSFW where? Santorum campaign headquarters? Tease...

Alright, fiiiiine then, we'll say 'religion', even though it wasn't Mohammed or Moses riding a velociraptor, and to my knowledge I've never seen them riding one. Even with that, the jab is kind of needless, since they don't have anything to do with this particular story, unless you rope them in with a funny pic.

Because any story dating things past 6000 years is required by law to have some sort of jab at christians.

Honestly, and I'd probably go right on eating it anyway, but I have a hard time believing there are farms full of beavers devoted for pee and anal glands. I mean come on, weighed against the amount of vanilla icecream people eat, how much beaver pee and anal glands could there be?