Me: Shawn Bradley tried to kill himself?

He thought he wanted to kill himself after the embarrassment of the dunk, but realized it was just nuts.

The suicide attempt didn’t work, but he was super well rested.

Weis, man. Can't jump.

The lowest point of his life was in January 2008.

So moral of the story is don’t get drafted by the Knicks?

1422 homeruns in one photo. I expect we’ll be getting a vine of Henry Aaron getting Dutch Oven’d by Sadaharu Oh to keep up.

He just started a Twitter account. You can tweet him on the board. YES!

Since fielders can handle a ball infinite times in a play, there’s really no answer to this. A double play involving a rundown could look like 6-3-4-1-6-3-4-1-repeating.

Hawk Harrelson makes games interesting to listen to. He’s a homer, so what? Better than listening to Joe Buck any day

My favorite part was that they decided to throw up the "1st Goal of the Season." As if people thought the goalie was racking handfuls of goals a year. Brilliant.

Twitter commenter reminds us this happened in a Super Bowl once. With Ray Guy!

This seemed kinda suspicious to me. I'm not saying for certain that they're shaving points, but maybe one of us should check the Florida-Georgia line.

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

If you are not wearing the required makeup, I will stop you and apply it myself. I don't care if you're late for class. I don't care if you're a sophomore or a super senior. I will stop you.

Kyle Wagner already wrote the post that it's happening.

I kept reading polish week as Polish week, in which case I imagine the prep is less manicure and more:

All these black people getting killed by police is really fucking up Lou's commute. Inconsiderate motherfuckers.

Richard Sherman saying "Geez Louise!"

The press conference was really authentic, because Pete Carroll played the role of a crazed man who stormed the podium and yelled "9/11 was an inside job!".