Thanks for admitting to the world that you can’t read.

If there is one thing, and only one thing, engineering and domestic life has taught me, is that so long as men have large, mechanically advantaged hands and there are still jars. They shall never be obsolete.

To be fair, they did go to the trouble of finding some very promising fan productions and shutting them down. So there’s that.

I’ve always been more a fan of the poor-man’s door alarm; a cup full of change balanced on the doorknob

When a company pays a $5 billion fine for doing something that’s illegal, yeah, I think we can bring charges against the executives.

He’s from Brooklyn and was meeting with The Daily News not the San Diego Union-Tribune. This is the kind of “Man of the people” v. “Out-of-touch Elitist” question they often ask.

I would rather have Bernie in the White House working out the solutions to these problems than Hillary working with the people who created these problems.

It’s so easy to criticize.

Especially since, y’know, not all of America lives in NYC or rides the subway. Contrary to what Gawker and so many other media employees may sometimes think.

I think you kind of buried the lede on this. The president does not need to ride the subway. The president should have some concept of how they would execute their campaign promises.

I like Sanders, but this interview is pretty bad. He has always appeared the least terrible option to me and will remain so. Obviously Clinton mouthpieces like the Washington Post will excoriate him over it and no doubt this comment section aka Clintonland will whilst pretending only Sanders supporters shovel…

You had me at “marathoning all the versions of The Thing.” Where do I apply?

Because you can’t actually see the tiny Rube Goldberg machine that is everyday chemistry.

I did and it was glorious.

The only reason this was invented:

THEY’RE COMING

Tomato season is celebrated at my house with a festivity usually reserved for Christmas.