Yeah, what kind of card? Like a greeting card? Or a playing card? Maybe one of those big ones from The Price is Right Card Game? Why is it red? Is it about politics?

If the queen had balls she’d be the king!

“Yet you participate in society, curious!”

Yeah, unless financial statements are public, anything a team owner says about their revenue and profitability should be taken as kayfabe.

Furry Assholes is more intimidating than Wildcats imo.

Even then, I suspect witchcraft rather than skill.

Yeah, this article was weird all around. Mayer’s angle is that Franken was railroaded. Problem is, she doesn’t have the story.

Basket of fries on a room service tray outside a room? All mine fuckers. I’ll eat your trash fries.

Stick to cras!

I know this is futile, but Scocca’s correct. Stephens is counting on people like you to be lazy like this. Replace Stephens’ imagined quote with Omar’s actual words. You’ll see how contrived this is. You know what? I’ll do it for you:

While not many Democrats have gone that far publicly, some—including most prominently the 2020 presidential hopefuls—have expressed ever greater unease about removing people who cross borders unauthorized.

Was that a Silverman event? Or are those signs just...there?

No booty. Not licious.

WALK WITH ELI...

Mattis absolutely is a sycophant...for the right person. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Elizabeth Holmes. If Trump wants to fight Iran, he should send Ivanka over to the Pentagon and have her talk in a funny voice.

Look, I’m with you. Now’s the time for pragmatism. Medicare for all? Too many freeloaders. Just thinking of all that free loading salts my bacon. The only viable solution is compulsory national military service. Free health care? Check. No free loading. Double check. 

“Yes. Books are heavy. But they are also long and many. So, we make piles of them. Once in a while, a guy comes around with post-its. He puts them on the piles. We do what the post-its say. It’s a good system.”

Is it dark because the abortionists in Leah’s house mistook the lightbulbs for fetuses?

CLOSE YOUR LEGS STEVE YOU SEX HARLOT NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR GOOSEPIMPLE

I’m booing him now just to stay in peak form.