I hate that I feel this way, but I hate hate hate when it’s all

“dexterity of an inebriated giraff”

I agree. People act like there’s one path, or like all STEM workers have one personality. But the reality is that there are as many ‘origin stories’ as there are workers, and we need to embrace that. I know artists who nerd out about code, which they learned to deliver their product. I know people who knew since they…

Right!? The last time i got a manicure the lady kept repeating “So short, so short...” Lady, I wear gloves all day with my hands in people’s mouths, do you want me poking people!? :(

It’s been years... Years... Oh sweet mother of sin so many long years since any farm hand has plowed my fields. A lean tan farm hand whose just passing through for the summer. He asks me for lemonade one afternoon when everyone else is working and his shirt sticking to his chest and abs... What? What are we talking…

Right? I start doing the math in my head and I’ll think "maybe I conceived 11 months ago?”

see this kind of story is why I lose my mind if my period’s two weeks late even though I haven’t seen a dick in a year

An experience like this one is bound to forge a connection, but Brandon and Jessica make clear that one already existed. “He’s awesome and cute,” Jessica tells Eyewitness News. On Thursday, she folded him into an embrace and softly told him “Thank you.”

Spongebob is seriously the best thing ever. I can’t believe people think it’s for kids.

And teeth. I was babysitting one time and one of the kids knocked out his front tooth and I promptly put it in a glass of milk, just like the cartoon dinosaur on the commercial had been telling me for years. When his dad got home, he scoffed at me for doing that but later called me back to thank me because the dentist…

Well, 30 Rock taught me how to fall on a chair if I find myself choking and alone, so...

Cartoons save lives, people.

You’re welcome. If you have a favorite store, go in and ask them how often they switch out their lines or if they’ll be getting extra deliveries on a particular item. If they’re not busy, they’ll usually let you know. Items like pants and shorts usually lasted the entire season, so sometimes we got new shipments of…

Usually, what’s in the back are empty hangers, empty boxes, and broken clothes racks. If there are clothes, they’re items from the next line coming out not what’s currently on display. Very rarely is there stuff in the back. If there is, it’s usually all XS (size 2) or items that weren’t popular and will be placed on…

My requirements/deal breakers changed as I aged. In my teens, I just wanted a good kisser who had a car, could manage to obtain Boone’s Farm, and was at least a top placer in local surfing competitions. In my 20s, I wanted a guy with a decent job, who worked out and understood my workout schedule, who had a big dick…

He’s so thoughtful, but complained when I asked him to make me a turkey sandwich

I’ve never understood the “is he/she close to their family?” deal breaker. What if his/her parents were abusive, or their family are a bunch of assholes?

Willing to pay the first person that get that tattooed on their body. Not a lot of money, but some money.

Please show me that person, because I will sit at their knee and I will learn from them.”