...the “financial freedom”? How much, exactly are you spending on your cats?

How retailers aren’t seeing the (far too slowly) closing wage gap and penchant for material consumption and pivoting their entire marketing/production strategies towards women of all shapes and sizes is beyond me. When my wife told me places charge between $50 and $75 TO BLOW DRY HAIR I almost killed one of my cats…

I’m sorry, what? $195,000 for personal trainers?

I wish I had a picture of it, but by far the most absurd part of that whole shebang was the owners walking around holding the trophy while some guy held a gold framed portrait of the King of Thailand over his head. Amazing.

OH GREAT ARBITER OF WHAT’S IMPORTANT AND NOT IMPORTANT TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD, ENLIGHTEN US WITH YOUR WISDOM, ESPECIALLY ON A NOMINALLY SPORTS WEBSITE THAT REPORTS ON THINGS THAT HAS PRECISELY NO IMPACT ON YOUR DAILY LIFE.

“You’ve had three days to see the movie”

Remember when you were the cool kids who could afford to be pricks about everything? That time is long gone Burneko. You’d be wise to realize this before you go down with the rest of the Gawker media “empire”.

Oh fuck off. You could have easily written that title without the spoiler. God this fucking website sucks now. I have no clue why I keep coming back.

This picture could be applied to 95% of the jokes in this comment section. Thank you for everything you do.

It is absolutely unreal to me how much time people spend on shit like this. Over the first 32 years of my life, I’ve thought about what it means to be a “man” precisely zero times.

Shupe told McWade that he was unable to tow her car because she was “obviously a socialist,” and helpfully suggested that she “call the government” for a tow.

Please stop. I couldn’t give a fuck about Taylor Swift but there are plenty of little rich kids who get daddy to pay for stuff and end up amounting to precisely nothing. Pretending like the only thing she brings to the table was her dad’s money 10 years ago is insane.

My holy shit moment was when I started running up the ramparts and arrows were raining down on me. I was like I fucking remember this....

Mind numblingy stupid.

lolwut

What was the cue? You specifically mentioning Kotaku readers saying “But she hit him first” in a nasally high pitched voice? You’re a clown.

So wait, you’re telling me that the scream-the-loudest trolls on the internet don’t necessarily represent the entire population of the subset you bucket them in?

With that all said, I know I would definitely give 12 tracks of Jay Z begging for forgiveness at least one spin on Tidal while he and Beyoncé collect their checks and marvel at how absurdly good they are at marketing.

trollllololol

I know right? Why reward teams for doing well? Everybody gets a trophy!