Here in this reality, the president of the United States woke up this morning and tweeted some dumbass shit about how like if you take down cheap, hollow, sheet-metal statues of the white-supremacist halfwits and slavers who went to war against the United States to preserve their power to own people, does it not also…

I can't even tell you how much I'm dying over this. Jeopardy references AND alluding to sleeping with Ryan Lochte...Christmas came early.

I need to find a way to incorporate "hit it like the wrath of God" into a sentence today. Also, all these are totally making my day. That is all.

I feel like I need to drive to where you are and high five you for that one.

I believe it's called the 'stride of pride'

Just go with it. He's not smart enough to know how to not act like a tool. It's okay, baby, I have enough brains for the both of us.

He's such a do-kill. But good lord, I still would.