Haha truth. It wouldn't sound as endearing, though.

Please tell me they are giving Carson Daly's job to Noah.

I think the man he was with in the first news broadcast is his grandpa. Perhaps he spends quite a bit of time with him and has taken on his delivery. One of my brothers did this with our grandpa and (apparently—I wasn't born yet) it was hilarious. He even deepened his voice, walked around with an unlit corncob pipe in…

I feel like thats something Kanye would say

Apparently, you did not literally die.

That was my thought too! He must spend a lot of time with his grandpa bc he sounds like such a sweet elder man. I can see him down at the corner store sipping coffee, playing peanuckle (spelling) with his guy friends and chatting about the storm that is apparently supposed to be coming.

I thought his "It's like being in a thousand drops of heaven" line was even better than the "apparently"s. Laughed my ass off.

I don't know what to believe in anymore.

Objective? It's a review. A personal opinion.

are you really going to make me read the review so i can disagree with you? fine...

okay, i just read it, and i really don't see how it's 100% emotional and a retaliation against his personal life. there's the last bit, the part quoted here:

But Tilda Swinton is ageless! For real though, they're playing vampires hundreds of years old so it doesn't really count. But I'm just biased, because then I could see my two favorite actors in one movie.

If you're Woody Allen, you don't even bother to try finding age-appropriate romantic partners, because you don't know what that means.

Leave it to Woody Allen to think that Emma Stone (age 25) would be a reasonable romantic lead alongside Colin Firth (age 53). I have nothing against May-December romances (my dad is 16 years older than my mom) but, sexy as he is, he is over twice her age and that is squicky as fuck. And this dynamic is treated as…

Was there a sudden period joke or rape culture rant in the middle of this that I missed? Why is it a big deal which blog it's on? (I read pretty much all of them to varying degrees).

You didn't really have to read it if you didn't want to

Psst. She married a rich guy, so not spending on a blogger's salary! She'll be fine.

A Kotaku Jezebel cross-post focused around micro-transactions, casual games, and Kim Kardashian.

For real. On a writers wage she is going to blow $500 on a phone app? I haven't spent $500 on video games in the course of the last two years, and I buy the full on studio production stuff for xbox and pc.

You guys, I literally think I have a problem.