Long time Giants fan. Is it just me, or do Gettleman’s (and the Giants generally) justifications for doing things recently (like trading OBJ, picking Jones over Haskins) come off as racially coded? “Negative culture.” “Mature.” “Fiber.” Hmmmmmmmmmm. Like they get rid of Beckham for complaining that they lose too much…

Chris, that was awesome. Fuck.

Conservative humor is without question the worst humor.

That’s what they said about Duke. 

It’s a travesty he’s up against Truman Peyote, which is also an incredible name.

More like Angelique Gerber, amirite? Get it? Because she’s such a baby... you don’t get it, it’s funny.

I have a naturally high pitched voice, and when I get myself worked up it gets higher and higher until I have to pause and reset because only dogs can hear it. Then I have my professional voice. It’s a little slower and slightly deeper than my natural voice, which is high southern valley girl. My daughter mocks me…

A couple of feminist friends took me to task for saying Holmes faked her voice. They said higher octaves don’t help women in the workplace, which I don’t argue with, and she only “lowered her voice an octave,” which in their minds wasn’t fake. I say she lowered it way TOO much, and that’s what makes it fake.

If he or Machado misses significant time for this or any reason, no free agent will get offered more than $1.98 next year.

Two dozen MLB front offices saw this and immediately lied to themselves that this is why they didn’t even attempt to sign an MVP-caliber player in free agency.

A lot of free publicity for Dairy Queen there. I could really go for a Blizzard right now.

Maybe he was going for "covfefe."

So there’s like, ZERO chance that Trump hasn’t gone to one of these places, right?

This is a useful reminder that getting an airplane into the air is REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT, which is why routine air travel is little short of miraculous.

Bryce Harper At His Phillies Press Conference: “The Academy Award for Best Picture goes to La La Land.”

I’m surprised he wasn’t pelted with batteries for that. Phillies fans are slipping.

Guys....Have I been playing bridge wrong this whole time? 

I too am a billionaire if you estimate the value of my brand at $4 billion. Please don’t make me own the Bills.

Eh, I’ll give Bregman a pass for the sheer joy of seeing Tucker Carlson losing his shit.

I don’t know why and have no facts to back this up, but deep down I believe the Raiders organization itself leaked the SF announcement as they thought that would put pressure on the 49s to allow for them to temporally play on that arena.