I have died of the giggles from your comment.

damn near everyone thinks of him/herself as middle class. It's crazy.

When I was 5 or 6, we had some friends who kept a kosher diet, which was fascinating to me: they lived without bacon! I had no idea that Jewishness was anything but exotic and fascinating because I was a dumb culturally insensitive kid, so I did not understand why my mother was mortified when I announced, after…

fiber. You were a child who valued regularity.

if it was just the one story, I'd also give him the benefit of the doubt, because memory is weird like that. But he also claimed on a sports show that his favorite possession was a piece of the helicopter used in the mission to kill Bin Laden. :-/

It was more than that one story about being shot down. He also claimed to own a piece of the helicopter used in the mission that killed Bin Laden, and seriously embellished Hurricane Katrina coverage

that's not really true, it's a big part of Indian food, too.

I think not knowing what an enchilada is puzzles me more because so many varieties of frozen enchiladas exist. Like, Banquet and Stouffer's and Lean Cuisine have enchiladas in other parts of the country (I have only lived in TX, NM and CA) right?

I once waited on a table of very nice people who didn't know what okra was. We served fried okra (it wasn't a healthy or fancy place) so when they asked what the fried okra was, I said "It's okra cut into bite-size pieces, batter-dipped and deep fried". The lady said "Oh. But what is okra?". I tried explaining…

I cannot imagine most people spending $20 and putting on pants to go watch it ironically. This isn't Sharknado, which you could half-watch while snarking on Twitter and folding laundry or lounging in your underpants or whatever.

oooh that reminds me of a lie that I did not tell, but was party t: "No, officer, I'm not on anything. I don't do drugs. My eyes look unfocused because I have a congenital condition called [very real sounding bullshit]". Worked! Of course, she had passed all the field sobriety tests, but cop kept insisting the…

I literally gasped right now.

don't feel bad, you're not a lying liar or anything. You just have a bad memory and easily confuse exciting things that happen to strangers with mundane things that happen to you. Memory's tricky, man.

I bet your bookcase is simply huge.

You are quite funny.

Whoah. Penn Jillette melted.

you stop being so reasonable right now!

has anyone made a "sponge worthy" joke yet?

Penn Jillette's righteous rage is a substance stronger than alcohol, cocaine, nicotine or caffeine. True facts. That's really why he has never bothered with those other things.

eep, I just read the part about the wine and oral, somehow, when I said it wasn't visually interesting. Never mind