Dear So-Called-Christina: From the real Cardinal Nation: SHUT THE F UP AND SIT DOWN.

Can I address something with the congregation? I was watching the Steelers game last weekend and I noticed a sign that read, “#SteelersMafia”. This can not be allowed. There is only 2 mafia’s: Bills and Junior. That is it! This shit has got to stop. First there was Raider Nation and now EVERY fucking team everywhere…

The Odyssey is a dog shit head publication that got started at my alma mater, Indiana University. They wanted their organ to publish garbage takes about being an asshole in the Greek community.

“We love our old players and will almost always offer them a standing ovation when they come back on other teams to play against us”

When I rule the world, I will make it an FAA guideline that airplanes board and exit by row number. The needless “priority boarding” for status members is annoying as hell and the multiple muffled announcements over the shitty PA just confuse people more (“Am I Platinum? Well it’s my first flight ever and I’m seated…

I dunno, I used to work in an office building on the one non-crackhouse block in a decaying downtown area surrounded by crackhouses. There was a Subway across the street that was basically the only place to eat that didn’t involve getting the car and driving 20 minutes. I ate there a lot, not because I liked it but…

If you see someone waiting patiently for a car to pull out of a parking space and then, when the car is gone, swoop in before the person who was waiting can pull in.

My plan was to offer up our own Chris Kluwe as proof that a kicker could easily play other positions, so when I googled your name for a pic, well...the beef speaks for itself!

People who come into the store 10 minutes before closing, especially if they have no end game and just want to “take a look around”

It’s very odd to be scrolling through the comments and come across a half nude picture of yourself.

People who don’t say thank you whenever a common courtesy is extended (i.e. holding the door open). People who don’t tip. People who don’t clean up their dog’s crap. People who litter. People who put gum anywhere other than in the trash (or at least a napkin).

If you try to exit the airplane before it’s your turn.

Some people live in places without 1000 other fast food sub options.

I rest my case....

Subway is great because it is everywhere, and the food is completely inoffensive (aside from the bread made of sawdust.) If you’re planning to be out for the whole day, need to put calories in your stomach, and don’t want to chance getting swamp-ass an hour later. Subway it is.

right,subways are large mass transit cars, so they would be both impractically large and would not contain the nutrients for a human being to consume. and worse if you include the tunnels and tracks, they would taste awful.

If you want a kick-ass tombstone, you gotta earn it;

this is never the correct take

I HATE having to buy a new vacuum every year or two!

Any recommendations on a diaper bag that still makes me look like I can perform a root canal on a grizzly bear while still carrying my newborn?