Gah! Why did I miss this? I have a good one.

First time poster here. Love reading everyone's comments as a lurker. OK, here's my story. Bear with me, it's long. I went to Brazil when I was 26 and met up with family friends, including a guy that I literally have pictures of when I was four (he was a baby) and 16, so this is our third time meeting. I got off a ten…

good, that probably would count as rape anyway

We recently decided wer'e going to do the city hall thing. We've been together for years, and neither of us are particularly interested in the whole giant ceremony nightmare. Or really being married at all. But the VA won't put my name on the home loan otherwise. If/when we decide to tell everyone about it, we've…

I'm not sure anyone will read this since this is my first time commenting and I'll be stuck in the grays, but I just had to share. A couple years ago, my now-fiance's brother hiked the Appalachian Trail to raise money for a charity he's done a lot of work with. A couple weeks in, he met a woman who was also hiking…

Runaway Maid Of Honor

The worst wedding I've ever been to was bad mostly because it was poorly planned and executed. It was a hippie wedding in Kentucky in early August. It took place outside, on a farm at three in the afternoon. They did not provide shade for the guests and it was 97 degrees with 90% humidity and not a cloud in the sky.

ohmygod I remember watching that episode. I screamed so loud, my mom thought someone died.

And to get drunk at 10 AM, no less. Truly folk heroes.

And that is why Jesus doesn't allow front hugs until marriage.

It was that front-hug at the airport. Jim Bob was right. He totally sullied her. It is the road to sin.

Kathie Lee and Hoda are literally the smartest women in the country. They found a way to get paid to get drunk and talk about inappropriate shit. I raise my glass in your honor, ladies.

One time a dude was sitting on the grass with his legs spread and I didn't stomp on his nuts!

Dear Dirty Doppleganger,

I mean, I know that society is patriarchal and women are expected to be sexy and sexually available no matter what we do in society, but I guess now I need to explain that to my sons?

Fake, but still awesome:

Pictured: Roger Goodell

"Hey everybody! How about that great Thursday Night Football game tomorrow night huh? That'd be a good way to put all of this domestic abuse stuff behind us! We've got the...Bal...itmore....Ray....uh.... PITTSBURGH STEELERS playing. Who doesn't want to watch Ben Roth....less....damn it."

"Oh, THAT tape? We thought it was from the Pats, so we burned it."