My uncle was allergic to tomatoes (he could have them cooked, if he took a benadryl right after) but that went away when he quit smoking. Tobacco is a nightshade, too.

Jeeze, I’m just lactose intolerant and people either treat me like I’m about to die or like I’m lying through my teeth when they find out. I’ve had acquaintances try and throw friends’ pizza away to “protect” me, while others want all the details. (“So, what happens if you eat something with dairy in it?” “I take my…

In middle school, I abruptly went from second-shortest in my grade to second-tallest (however, I didn’t get my period until 8th grade, and didn’t even need a bra until 10th).

May I introduce you to Not Always Right?

At first, I misunderstood it as he was sent to bring up the lobsters from downstairs...

My first time buying alcohol, I was at a Toadies concert and asked the bartender girl to recommend me a beer. She seemed very confused by this, and started going on and on about this great cider they just got in (for whatever reason, apple juice and soft cider have made me feel like death my entire life, even though I…

I would’ve said, “If you don’t bring me my card within the next five minutes, I’m calling the police.” Get a fire lit under that ass.

Oh dear, I’ve had a really weird Applebees experience. I’d gone with my aunt and my sister to pick up our little cousin (because grandma can’t handle her anymore), who then could not wait another hour and a half to get home and eat. When we got sat down, my aunt gathered all the forks and knives from our silverware…

At Biscuitville, on more than one occasion I’ve ordered a half-gallon of sweet tea, and had a very confused cashier try and hand me a small sweet tea (and there’s a hash brown hiding in my bag, because their drive-thru speaker is likely older than I am).

My problems with it:
-Continued with the whole “young inexperienced white guy gets promoted for no sane reason and proceeds to kick ass while the old guys run around like headless chickens” thing that a lot of movies have, despite the Star Trek franchise having a long history of promotion as a reward for experience and…

Yeah, or just tell the participants that they’ll come in and clear away the plates.

Hootenanny, meaning an informal get-together, often accompanied by music. In the mountains of North Carolina, is the myth of a Bigfoot-like creature, half man and half bear, named Boojum. Boojum’s human wife, Annie, would talk to him across the valleys through owl calls whenever they were apart. Hootin’ Annie. Morphed…

Just more ammo to use next time I have to explain to someone that their Febreeze-Airwick-Yankee Candle utopia of a house is making me feel like my lungs no longer inhabit my torso.

The length, 12cm, is crossed exactly 4 times by the string, making 4 3cm sections. Each section has a 4cm circumference, which can be cut and flattened into 4 3x4cm rectangles, with the corresponding section of string crossing it diagonally. And, since the Pythagorean theorum states that a^2 + b^2 = c^2, we have…

20cm. How was that so difficult?

I don’t think I would’ve been able to watch it when I was 16, let alone 7. Very violent (and more realistically and graphically than Avengers, we’re talking hard-R rating) and politically complex; I’d recommend watching the first two episodes before even thinking about showing your kid.

Yeah, like how’s a 10-lb cat going to do to a 150-lb human? My cat likes to trip me, but I’ve had to be careful not to fall on the poor lovable fool. At least when he steals my seat, he screams at me *before* I’m actually sitting on him. He’d probably try and make friends with a tiger.

My aunt's dog was such a cute puppy, everyone wanted to hold him and he was very much a lap puppy. Which made his adult weight of almost 90 lbs a little too much puppy for too little lap (especially me, as his favorite person, because he weighed more than me when I was a kid).

When I introduced a (now ex-boyfriend) to Oglaf, I described it as "comedic medieval fantasy porn" and he responded "oh, so it's Skyrim fanfiction?"

I have fibromyalgia, and here is my understanding of why my medication (the tricyclic antidepressant Nortriptyline) works: