Well, you have to be 18 or older to qualify for a Darwin Award (except for that time a 15-year-old and his parents were all electrocuted trying to erect a radio antenna in their back yard).

Have you seen the cafeteria food in schools lately? I recently felt the need to transfer from a state university to the community college near my home because the food was absolute shit and at least now that I've got a kitchen and I'm cooking for myself I can eat vegetables not fried in bacon grease.

These stories just baffle me. When I was 12, just a decade ago, I walked to the park either alone or with my little sister and/or cousins, and I walked my neighbors dog (usually alone!) for money, and could then walk to the grocery or bookstore or Starbucks to spend said money.

I was so sad that she couldn't enjoy the wolf dragon BD sent her, because mine is amazing.

My first lube was Astroglide, but the more I used it the more... awkwardly tingly my bits got. And it's so runny it would drip off my toys. I heard about Sliquid from the wonderful Oh Joy Sex Toy comic, and I like it much better.

The mix-up is mine, more likely. We talked about a lot of things, and that was a couple years ago. I didn't grow up religious, and he and I would debate where morals come from and cultural differences.

He was a messianic Jew, which I understand to be a little different, and that was his example of the *most* strict part of kosher and related restrictions.

A few years ago, right after I had jaw surgery, my grandmother came to town to visit and declared she was taking me out to my favorite restaurant. While my mouth was wired shut.

My mother had an allergy test done years ago, and the nurse/PA doing it freaked out and wouldn't let her leave, saying right to her face that she was "the most allergic person" they'd ever seen and weren't sure whether to call an ambulance or not.

I had some interesting conversations with a Jewish friend, about how hard it was for him to keep completely kosher because one of the restrictions includes not touching a menstruating woman or eating any food prepared by her, dishes washed by her, etc., but how rude that would be to have to survey the whole kitchen…

I grew up pretty much agnostic (Dad was raised Catholic and still hasn't outgrown his rebellious streak). I don't remember a specific "Santa isn't real!" incident, being inquisitive about everything as a kid but always a little skeptical. Guess I always sort of understood that there wasn't one constant, unchanging…

So, my grandmother has a history of not quite understanding what I want or need for Christmas. Examples:

I've said it before... I'd rather get medical advice from Hugh Laurie than "Dr." Oz.

He could be lashing out because he's being bullied for being blind, or even whacking a classmate that tries to take his cane away as a joke. Or just venting for already feeling powerless. Or just waving his cane around because he's bored and can't read braille on a bumpy old school bus so there's nothing to do.

But he'd probably need different canes as he grows up, so it might be easier for the school to have a variety of sizes and lend them as needed instead of making the family buy a new one every growth spurt.

And, the more cases where unvaccinated kids get sick, is more opportunities for the disease to mutate, increasing potential of vaccine resistance.

That sounds a lot like what's called "fibrofog" where your immune system gets run down enough it starts lashing out at your nervous system and things as simple as "take your shoes off before getting into bed" feels like rocket science.

I know on tumblr you can block from seeing certain tags, and some Chrome applications will replace one thing with another (for example, replacing baby photos with photos of bacon being cooked). Surely there's a way for a young masturbateer to filter out mom and dad if the parents are willing to divulge their stage…

Never accidentally get between a dinosaur and its young.

The dumbest Thanksgiving so far, was when I was 16. I had jaw surgery that summer, was a strict vegetarian, my aunt and uncle had flown in with their spawn from the west coast, and everybody was crammed in at my grandparents' house (which is a half-hour from anywhere).