Call Albert. Simmons isn’t the only shitty writer who needs to be called out today.

OH MY GOD, this is the epitome of Husband and me. He wakes up at 5:30am and is all like, POKE POKE POKE, LET’S DO IT. And I’m all like, wtf is your problem, asshole, I’m sleeping. You poke me again and I will rip that fucking finger right off your hand and crazy murder you with it. And then he’s all like, Geez, why so…

We can chalk this up to a larger societal problem, which is how Americans work themselves to death and sacrifice everything to appear busy. This “cult of busy” rewards people for boasting about how tired they are and why. Downtime and vacations are a dirty word in corporate America and despite how busy we are, we…

“I’m totally certain something was in that drink,”- This is from the accuser in that new documentary. The toxicology report done mere hours after the alleged incident proves this indisputably false. This alone should be enough for a counter-suit, no?

You ever watch Silicon Valley? There’s an episode where they bring in this douchey kid named Kevin based on his reputation as a hacker with skills who broke into BOA. Come to find out he was actually working there as an intern and ruined their database. Yeah...that was what I imagine DeMurro’s tenure at Porsche was.

Is it just me or does Doug sound like a grumpy old man? What’s next doug? Are you going to start yelling at your neighbors kids to get off your lawn

Bravo Doug. Another spot-on article with more humor than an entire late night routine. Though we need to send you something new to listen to. We all love Jimmy Eat World but how many months has that album been on repeat?

Equally as bad, from Andy Benoit in reference to Gregory (and Greg Hardy):

I live in the midwest, and you would be surprised that we also have art scenes and gardens and minority neighborhoods to fret over and food scenes. But every year white people from here flee to either coast and act like its an accomplishment or the only way to live.

if i didn’t know any better i’d say Drew was just trying to write a clickbait headline then follow it up with his complete lack of knowledge of boxing.

Fuck cheaters.

This is a long way to go to repeat your claims that Whitlock doesn’t like black people. Someone get Greg an editor.

“The entire site is a preconceived narrative,” says one exasperated ESPNer. “And if you have a site that’s a preconceived narrative, then that site will fail.”

Amazingly, all this does is make me feel sorry for Whitlock. Why in the world would you put so much effort into attacking a site that hasn't even gone live?

Garret totally sucks, but those models are working for their money. They are practically naked in the snow, and they have to worry about getting eaten by a bear

Guys who always suck, in no particular order:

The history of the NFL teaches us that no one knows anything, and the history of pre-draft chatter shows that nothing anyone says should ever be believed.

Or it was the cashier, who panicked when someone else saw Winston walk out and lied to save himself. In any event, no one had any incentive to admit the arrangement existed and the people who decided to press charges probably wouldn't have been involved.

First of all, he stole that shit and everyone knows it.

There was a reason to lie about the free stuff at the time. If he accepted free food, then the NCAA could have fucked up his season. And it’s not a stretch that the grocery store employees would lie to keep him playing football each Saturday.