Yes. A lot of us won’t admit to wanting kids because we know we are not rich enough by society’s standards. I have 2 kids now in spite of my circumstances and I have no regrets. You know who else is really happy about it? My parents. My poverty stricken kids are so far their only grandkids because the 3 other kids…

Exactly. Everybody thinks there is a perfect way to be, a perfect lifestyle, a perfect parenting style. What a load of shit. Once upon a time, people from Eurasia migrated across a land bridge to arrive in the Americas - it took them god knows how long and under god knows what kind of terrible conditions and you know…

I have to disagree. What you say makes rational sense but let’s break it down. For most of human history, babymaking has been essentially compulsory given how we behave as animals and also given the ways in which our many cultures developed. It’s also fair to say that for most of human history, based on circumstance,…

I’m not saying you don’t have a point but I think it’s also worth saying that the author is talking about the type of vague, unexpressed, deep, hidden, irrational emotions that all of us, rich and poor alike, harbor regardless of circumstance. I live in a low income neighborhood because I am low income. I am on…

ah, reading comprehension. Well if you’re still enough of an internal adolescent to give a shit about other people judging you for using daycare in a country which requires double income households, you need to work on your emotional maturity.

I think they are referring to the parents savings on the cost of childcare. I’m poor and have no family to help with my kids. My family’s options are: subsidized childcare if we can get it or my husband stops working. We have subsidized childcare at the moment and it is a huge blessing.

I used to work at a poorly funded/managed yet highly successful magazine where all of us were criminally underpaid. An editor there (who also worked weekends as a bartender) once recounted after we were all told that we’d have to take a paycut, that she complained to her EIC and the EIC told her “well couldn’t you ask…

This is always my go to counterpoint and nobody ever gives a shit. They just hate the poor.

Maybe you wouldn’t, maybe you would. You’ll never know. I was raised by a single mom and my father remarried and had 2 more kids. Every year I set myself back about 3 months paying for the holiday trip home and then a few years ago when I had a kid, it just became a financial impossibility. So my dad offers to pay and…

Don’t do that. They should get jobs in high school. In college they really need to focus.

Thanks! I’m fine but only because I found a way to keep my distance. As long as I kept getting sucked back in, I kept being pretty self-destructive. So it’s pretty awful to think that people might be counseling these kids to keep getting tangled up with their mom.

Thanks. I can tell you that in my experience with my mother, people on the outside think she is fine. My father sued for custody 11 times and lost every single time. She convinced me over the years that he was no less than a serial killer, rapist and child molester, and repeated more times than I can remember that he…

What you say is fair for someone to say, from the outside looking in. What I can tell you as the daughter of someone with BPD, is that for the children, what you say doesn’t matter. When your mom is sick and cruel, you don’t come into the world understanding that. You think she’s normal, you think her behavior towards…

That’s a job for professionals, not innocent children who have grown up with her and have, as a result of her abusive behavior, their own psychic wounds to treat. If as adults they choose to help her out that’s great but the fact is Sinead O’Connor has had a lot of help for her psychological issues, and she is still…

Yeah it is so hard to read people say “oh they’re mentally ill? imagine their distress!!” Ugh. Like clarity of mind makes it easy to absorb cruelty or something. Thank god for adulthood and the autonomy it gives us.

Fathers. 2 different people. And the elder 2 children and their fathers are also estranged. That’s 8 people, 6 of whom are old enough to make their own call, and have decided to keep their distance. I suppose it’s possible that they are all heartless assholes but it’s also possible that she is psychologically abusive…

I don’t know, obviously, but the picture that this article, her facebook post, and the story you posted paints is this: her ex and she fought over custody and ultimately had joint custody of the daughter they raised. Her ex became of vocal proponent of fathers’ rights, and she wrote him a letter saying his stance on…

Read the letter, doesn’t seem to contradict anything I said or implied, nor would I assume the father found it “lovely”. “It’s possible her kids don’t want her dead”? I’d say it’s highly likely that her kids don’t want her dead? And therein lies the cruelty of her writing a suicide note blaming them for her pain? And…

Exactly. And she’s got 4 kids.

yeah same here so as I read this post, the abused kid in me feels absolutely nothing but disgust. Hard to explain to others but this type of thing is just an extension of abuse that has been going on in private day in and day out. That said she obviously needs help, I hope she finds something that works.