“Guys we’re desperate. Doesn’t anyone have anywhere that our team would be welcome?”

“I mean the odo said 156,163, but I got on the phone with the guy and was able to talk him down to 147,382!  I gave him my social and mother’s maiden and we sealed the deal then and there!”

Also a Stephen.

He doesn’t owe us an explanation.

“I’ve been there, Lavar. You went in with dreams that you’d be the architect of something grand, but now you’re feeling trapped and just aching to see your son go somewhere that will let him stretch his wings like you truly believe he can. I know that story, Lavar. I’ve lived it. So believe me when I tell you, one dad…

But Senate leaders and the bill’s sponsor, North Ogden Republican Sen. Allen Christensen

The last thing LaVar Ball needs is to be around more Suns that don’t play basketball well.

I don’t understand the narrative that people doubted this team could win. I don’t think anyone doubted that. I think far more people were resigned to that fact, disgusted by the inevitability, but no one doubted it.

I think Life In Agro's analysis of blu magic so far has been hilarious.

#7 Backup plan is the cartoon General from those car insurance commercials.

#6 President Trump could have ABSOLUTELY banged Brooke Shields in the 80s but didn’t think she was “more than an 8.5".
#7 The appointment of the Mucinex Mucus as Assistant Attorney General. 

Even better:

“flaud trade deals”

Come on fam you are too big to be crying like that...

“There’s a terrible and immediate danger that threatens the existence of the United States! We face a grave threat to the lives of every man, woman, and child in America! Therefore, I will declare a national emergency! Maybe this month. Maybe next. Not sure. Gonna totally do it, though, you betcha! Any day now. Wait…

It’s hard to see his face in the video, but I’m pretty sure this guy has a membership to every gym I’ve ever been to. 

Trade that Wall and make NY pay for it!

I’m sorry, but you could rewrite those words a million times and $72 million for fucking Joakim Noah still wouldn’t make any sense. 

Let me alleviate your fears and say that no one their right mind goes through two trimesters of pregnancy and then is like “actually I don’t want a kid.” Every single abortion that happens in the third trimester is out of medical necessity. Every single one. And no state in the US allows for late term abortions if…