Tasteful!

I haven’t tried on marshmallows. That’s only because they never make it to the fire.

Isn’t an Americano, by definition, shit?

I learned a different buffet rule; Don’t go to fucking buffets.

Those last 2 got me hard. The little boy bringing ice cream to the waitress and the Santa. Man alive, nobody here is going to believe I’m looking at the spreadsheets I should be looking at....

Monogrammed Thermos™ does both!

Shitton...

“...tirade about how the coffee was SHIT and full of WATER and he needs a strong drink for his son to be a strong man...”

I can't tell if these stories warmed my icy cold heart or chilled my raging hot anger.

I really hope that couple from the coffee story are still together and fighting crime with funky disco beats, choreographed truck moves, and the unwavering ability to tell someone to shut the fuck up.