Ray Lewis denies having been on the pregame show, but admits that he showed poor judgment in being seen with Steve Young.

And yet, he had no issue taking a complimentary car from a place calling itself Kunes.

How about some empathy for the Bear? He has been having that recurring nightmare where he shows up to school naked, and now it’s really happening?

...aaaaannnnndddd ESPN suddenly has an erection.

This makes me strangely emotional. Deadspin has been perhaps the single most influential factor in the past decade of my life. It has, directly or indirectly, led to jobs (and firings), a good portion of my current real-world friendships, the front page of the Chicago Sun-Times, a feud with a former MLB All-Star, two…

The video cuts right before she apologized to the umpire and went over for a handshake and then pulled it away quickly saying, “Too slow.”

Can we please get a “this is sportscenter commercial” where a old school school nurse is checking everyone’s head for lice, and then scott van pelt sits down with a giant smile on his face.

“95 percent, huh?”

Look, I don’t think the NFLPA does a particularly good job most of the time, but the thing that’s incredibly galling about this is that Troy’s pile of mendacious wordvomits is trying to conceal that the owners actively oppose every single thing he mentioned.

Guarantee that Rousey double shank legs Coerria right off of a rear choke helix. If Coerria lasts through all of that, I’d be surprised if Rousey doesn’t immediately force a Janckman’s Plexus on her and shatter her buttonhook. Coerria’s only shot is a quick, accurate Miranda’s Reversal into a hog-nosed bat tap. Once…

Colin Cowherd has an Ayn Rand fleshlight.

Someone needs to bring an "Austin 3/16" sign to a Clippers game.

Griffin: [tries to hug Rivers]

God damnit just look at that asshole. Fuck.

"And then a garbage truck woke me up at six in the morning; its mechanical claw had mishandled a huge bin of trash and dumped it all over the street. And I asked of the Almighty: 'Really? A Raider?'"

"Ouch. Who threw that?"

Makes sense for both the Bears and Brandon Marshall. Being on another team is usually the best way to catch touchdowns from Jay Cutler.

Fitting that Novak would be "Bud Wiser" since both have terrible hops.