The decision to vacate the wins was nearly two and a half years old, so it comes as no surprise that Penn State completely fucked it.

David Duval just had a panic attack because he has no idea how he's supposed to tee off during the first two rounds of the tournament.

What you've just said... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have…

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So, he was asked to vacate. Shouldn't USC players be used to that by now?

Fuck you Drew Magary.

HUNTER PENCE WEARS JORTS

HUNTER PENCE PUTS HIS CAT ON A LEASH.

Is there some sort of saying that would apply here? Maybe some suggestion that the residents of a city conduct themselves in a certain dignified manner? I'm drawing a blank.

Oh, and that whole "half-nigger" business? Glossed right the fuck over

Mort: Hey, yeah we're about to go to break. What'dya need? ... Uh huh, I see ... Ok. Well, what's he asking for it? ... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I GET UNCUT KILOS FOR HALF THAT MUCH. CALL THAT MOTHERFUCKER BACK AND SAY NO SIRREE BOB, YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?! IF HE WON'T COME DOWN TO TWO FIFTY I WILL GO OVER THERE…

Man this is so sad, does everything involving the NBA have to be decided in advance?

Rob Ryan: God, I love New Orleans! I don't even care about the food, so much, after my surgery, but the music is amazing! Look at all the great artists at this festival!

Sometimes when you're dealing with twins, you'll find they split the difference on personal preferences.