As a kid, I forced myself to learn to swallow pills dry, just in case I ever ended up in a spy-movie situation. Can still do it most of the time, and yeah, it’s mental.

I wonder if Blago or Gov. Ryan are going to get hit up for their country club stints. I know it’s Club Fed, but still.

holy shit

i need an adult

And add a fuckton of sugar. Seriously, check the nutritional label. I love it but I understand why it’s so popular.

There is likely not a single article of Ms. Kerr’s that does not palpably exude how chill she is. That exchange with the interviewer? Dang.

Rate of flatulence figures in this equation, somewheres.

My most depressing Thanksgiving was spent freshman year at school, because for some godforsaken reason the week-long semester break came a week before Fourth Nov Thursday and I was too broke to make two trips home. Also too broke and clueless on how to hook myself up with traditional grub so I had to settle for…

they can keep my xmas bonus, i want this toooooo

my uncle played as phooey in kingdom hearts

Katyal’s a boss. Proud to have gone to the same high school as him (and Bill Murray). Non-concurrently, natch.

someone plz Croatoan this guys ass thx

for Jesus did sayeth unto them: “Got Mine, Fuck You”

wait ina garten is a cook i thought it was where the veggies grow

yeah but all you can eat cancer legs man

theyre not words! this is such (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

jesus is this the proto-romromberts?

what more evidence necessary to demonstrate sheltered yalies than expecting administrators to show empathy

acid as penis euphemism isn’t working for m— ohhhhh