But... what if it got you salmon discounts?

This is perfection and I am stealing it.

I love Iron and Wine’s “naked as we came”.

It IS hard. It seems like the older we get the harder it is, too.

Waiting is stupid and I hate it.

I was 13, and sulked my way out of going to the fireworks with the family so I could stay home and get real, real high on the only stuff I had available- weed and adderall. At peak highness my parents came home (early) and threatened me with one of those christian reprogramming boot camps.

This whole thread is so fascinating! Could you write about it for Jezebel for funsies sometime maybe? I want more.

That sounds like the most thoughtful and fun wedding ever! We recently went to a beautiful wedding on a farm and kids were invited. The kids got to pet the animals and run through fields of flowers and corn. There were peacocks! The adults got to have fun and the kids wore themselves out. I think it was the best…

I’ve never met an episcopalian I didn’t like. They’ve all been cool people. Calvary Chapel people though? I would set myself on fire before I’d step back onto their campus.

Do we have a bat signal for the Guacamole Safety Council?

I kept expecting him to pull out a pipe and be the meth intro guy. He was too good.

...

Bears, I salute you!

Whoa.

That’s pretty much my marriage.

Ugh, I feel for you. I have a few friends that just don’t fit anymore. One morphed into racist garbage person and the other is lovely, but lives far away and we have nothing in common.

SAME. It was not cool and I’m not over it.

I do. Like, days. I forget to charge it and it stays dead for a day or two until I need the calculator function.

Jokes on you, he doesn’t have a heart!

Oh my god, guys, I think I could win a ghosted contest!