Sorry Dik - I just dropped this joke without seeing you'd already laid it on the table. zips up fly and backs out of room

What happens to the worst looking female on the losing team?

Taylor Swift files lawsuit against entirety of internet.

Some parts are good, some parts aren't. It reminds me of Australia as a whole.

"You see this hand of mine?"

Or
"Meow meow meow meow,, meow meow meow meow,, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow"

Is the difference between the worlds best and worst hand fart musicians all that significant?

I once ate at a McDonalds that was actually inside of another McDonalds. It was the damnedest thing.

Anton Chigurh - "I've got a real problem with this movie." Proceeds to buzz hair.

When I was seventeen, I drank some very good beer, I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listenin' to Queen When I was seventeen.

Not to be confused with a Bobo - a crotchety old bastard that smells like whisky, has floppy shoes, a red nose (from the whisky) and a car that's way to fucking small.

You're late again Costanza, so listen up. Starting tonight we're having a little sales contest.

I expected Too Many Cooks to be a cheap Masterchef knockoff.

"Man of Steel" has a different connotation when Dik's around

get me my Elvis costume Mrs. Mueller.

$120,000? What a steal!

Nerds are nothing to fear - In fact, some nerds of note include popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher, rock star David Byrne, and Supreme Court Justice David Souter

It's been down hill for Rick Ross ever since Family Matters ended and his character Carl Winslow retired.

They could just splice that same footage into a close-in shot of Arnold's Vag.

In truth, 53 crashes have been just as bad or worse…who's heard of Tenerife?