I’m sorry I’m going to need an elaboration on the last one because wat.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

my only tweet of the night

America: How is it possible that someone like Trump can become a legitimate nominee for president?

That photo of Bill looks like he’s being physically restrained after being provoked to violence by Ken Bone.

#TiffanyIsTheBestTrump

Never broke her smile, and then capped it off with the “we’re just friends” arm pat. Beautiful.

Goddamn that was some amazing evasive maneuvering.

Two things:

Is that Barb from Stranger Things at the end of the row?

She’s a national treasure.

Baldwin’s Trump voice is crazy on point.

I didn’t think she could get better than last week’s “I think I’m gonna be president” delivery, but goddamn Kate McKinnon.

So... DeNiro!!!! I’ve mentioned this before, but I really, really, REALLY want someone to ask the Trump spawn how it feels to have their favourite actors, singers, and writers hate their father and the campaign they are supporting. Are they going to say they don’t think much of Meryl Streep and Robert DeNiro? I can’t…

My daughter was admitted into an inpatient psychiatric hospital lastnight after reaching out for help with suicidal thoughts. She just turned 13. She’s been on Abilify since July and I think it’s robbed her of herself. I’m so glad that she asked for help, but so devastated that she’s feeling this way and I can’t make…

In my fever dreams, which are apparently coming true today.

Take comfort: there will come a time when the hairy cheeto with an anus mouth will be reduced to a mere cultural footnote, nothing more than a washed-out meme banished to the annals of history.

I am still lost on the idea that by attacking Bill Clinton, he is attacking Hillary. That’s the most sexist bullshit I’ve ever heard.

He’s gonna pivot any moment now...