It sounds like Rubio is making someone wet tonight. That was one helluva scream.

Trump is such a narcissist it’s almost funny to watch. Everything is “this only happened because of me,” “we only did this because of me,” “that person likes me more than you.” Everything is in terms of winning and losing. He literally just said we’re not winning at healthcare. How the fuck do you even win at…

Rubio reminds me of Lady Elaine Fairchilde from Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.

How sad is Jeb! right now that his parents finally came to a school play and he isn’t even in it.

I have never been less sexually attracted to a group of males in my life, and I’ve been to a ghost hunters expo.

FOR NOW.

I predict that KUWTK Season 11 (whichever is the next one) will be the first to feature all the Kardashian/Jenner women as single ladies at the same time.

I’m seriously ready to create a human chain around the White House in January 2017 so they can’t leave. Like Jesse Spano at a drilling site. #HumanChain2016

I just watched that twice in a row. I lost it when she said “a black president! And a black wife!” And MO said “that’s me!” So sweet and heartfelt and i am in such a good mood now!

That is the president I voted for, of all the first families I have seen they are by far the classiest and the sweetest. ALSO MICHELLES DRESS OH MY GOD

Did you revenge-vomit everywhere? That’s my migraine superpower. ETA: I hope you’re recovered.

I was at the doctor with the worst migraine of my life on Friday and apparently my doctor’s office pipes in the local hits station or something because I distinctly remember Maroon 5 happening. As if the throbbing wasn’t bad enough, adding Adam Levine’s terrible falsetto felt like being stabbed with an icepick behind…

Can we give Bette Midler her own pundit show that’s just a half hour of GOP burns and show tunes?

Yup, with about 6000% more schadenfreude.

He’s been Kilmer’d

I’m also confused about Ben Affleck’s face:

He got Zellweggered!

Looks like Tom has been going to John Travolta’s face guy. Maybe they get 2 for 1 discounts at the Scientology Celebrity Center.

While reading this article, the tv started playing “I Cant Feel My Face When I’m With You”. Apt.

I got that vibe well before he got his new face.