I would do this one:

Someone owes me an Aston Martin.

Also underrated and not often mentioned when speaking of Jake Gyllenhall, October Sky. Yet another Gyllenhall classic.

I work in a cubicle. I can space out with the best of them.

Totally appropriate time to put these down.

No problem! (I'm a Texan, so secession is a common theme lol.) Shiner has some incredible beers, by the way. If you can find one, they have a killer sampler 6-pack. They have a prickly pear beer that is a much better alternative to the super sweet ciders etc.

Children of the Corn Pops

Stevie is going to be so pissed when he sees this!

I've been single and not looking for the last 10 months and this makes me never want to date again.

Don't spite kids. They do not get to choose whether they will behave like children; they are children.

Cameron Thor was arrested in June and held on $2.6 million bail.

WHAT THE FUCK NISSAN. You'll build THIS:

Challenger: [explodes]

At first I was surprised. Then I realized something very important: these are cobalt owners.

He's what it would look like if you raised a Cupie doll on nothing but corn, steaks, and creatine.

I'm having a hard time drawing any conclusions from the 23 seconds of video above, so I'm just going to chalk this up to two women drivers and move on.

I call it the "Roger Klotz."

I love mine and I promise not to be a DB.

Still one of the ugliest pieces of shit around, right next to the prowler