“I go to bed with a humidifier on.”

“Sir, for the last time, this is not a drive-thru.”

Complete with detailed maps for anyone to see. That’s quality brain work right there.

Now that’s a Homeward Bound remake I’d like to see.

Nothing a few anger management sessions wouldn’t cure, probably.

Now wait a second, maybe they want to hear from a gold hunter with liberal values.

And built it on the backs of African slaves. We have zero right to keep people out of the country.

“Innocent” LMAO.

I used Tropical Freeze to teach my daughter what I think is a valuable lesson.

Minilla is such a spaz.

On the plus side, maybe that means D.C. has a dragon in its future...

No matter how evil I got, I just couldn’t poison Manaan or keep the Wookiees enslaved. I couldn’t kill Mission or Zaalbar, either. Even my evil had limits.

Yay for Abbi, but as someone who spent nine years stuck in Colorado, she did not trade up.

I just assumed they were techno-genetically engineered rhinos, not traditionally domesticated ones.

Wow, do I feel bad for your November 2020 self (earlier, if Sanders loses the nom — again).

I would have called it OKMoopid, but whatever.

Someone should set up a nonprofit that provides bodyguard services for immigrants. So if ICE comes for anyone, they’ll have to go through the guard detail. It’s fucked up that we’ve reached this point, but something has to be done.

“The particular concern I have these days is called ghosting. I learned something new at Sundance! I didn’t know what ghosting was! That’s terrible. You have a wonderful sexual experience, and then in many cases, HE doesn’t call. Don’t go to bed with anybody you do not have a relationship with. I don’t want to hear…

No kidding. They’ve had the last 600 years (or 243, if we go by just the US), now they need to step aside.