Shot through the tongue

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I like the ombre´

brags about “pranking” Starbucks by having them write “Merry Christmas” as his name on the cup. He also flashes a gun he brought into the coffee shop

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

Apparently in Texas you do not have to identify yourself to the police unless you are under arrest. So if they arrested her for not identifying herself, they got the law backwards.

I am so excited Jezzies! I decided to pull the trigger on getting a kitten. I’ve never had a cat before and I’m kind of nervous about doing a good job taking care of it. I’ve had dogs, but how do I cat? What do kittens like to play with? How likely is it that I could train one to use a toilet? Give me your best cat…

Say it ain’t so.

I have a better idea.

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

Far worse in my book are the relatives that kiss on the mouth on purpose. Half my fan is German - you get a handshake. The other half is Italian - which means a slobbery wet lip smooch at every occasion.

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

“In Wales wt Ed Sheeran. Killed some sheep. Wearing the skins all the way to Anglessy.”

JOSEPH”(of Bible,& Amazing Tech.Dream Coat)

I think that’s where she was coming from, she just....is an MMA fighter and not someone who has a degree in vaginal dryness like Dr. McStuffems MD

That’s not how they take off moles. You have to cut them out. With a knife. Depending on the size it can leave a pretty significant scar.

I feel like if she could just rephrase it to something like, Guys who skip foreplay are lazy, she’d really be hitting the nail on the head.

also bitch you’ve obviously never tried to have sex while super high on that tip top chronic no lube no sex no fun in that situation

“Played the race card?” Dude, sit down.

That’s a pile of hot, steaming bullshit that you just spouted right there.