The man even sucks at cheating on his diet! Fucking spumoni?!

um actually archenland is next to narnia learn ur fictional geography

“People say I talk about spumoni too much and that I’m condescending. (Spumoni is italian ice cream and condescending means I talk down to others.)” - John Kasich

Is Cabbage in charge of marketing?

One of the best parts (and there have been many) about Daniel Craig’s current GiveNoFucks Bond tour was the exhange when the interviewer asked him what life lessons Bond could give and he was like “well, nothing. He’s actually a misogynist.”

“How do we tell young girls their academic pursuits will be worth the struggle?”

Tangent: And once a book, movie or television show has been out for six months, I have no responsibility to protect you from ding-dang spoilers. You clearly don’t care that much if that much time has passed.

I did not wake up this morning thinking I would like Ariana Grande, yet here we are.

I’m an atheist. So respectfully yes I do dismiss ALL religion. I have to be consistent. When the bible thumping missionaries knock at my door I politely send them on their way and I will do so to anyone else that uses a dogmatic fantasy to sell me something. The one thing about Buddhists that I do appreciate is that…

And as such, penises should never be hung in a place where men can walk under them.

The point is to become a society where a panel of 9 women on the supreme court is no more surprising than having 9 men on the supreme court.

My friend is seven months along now and Canada is starting to get a bit cold, but nothing crazy - I’ve mostly been in sweaters or light jackets this month - and apparently people keep telling her she needs to wear more layers to “protect” the baby. She said she was too hot and someone literally told her “You can’t be…

a lot of babies get jaundice and they turned out fine

That’s her point- those opinions are fucking dumb and unsolicited. Just posting a picture of her cereal is NOT a solicitation for public comment.

I’m a man but I can guarantee that Cap’n Crunch and Fruity Pebbles is one of the best things you can put in your body, ever.

Slaymi Bellvato

I suggest he volunteers for a new space program I’ve just now decided to fund, where we tie him to a rocket, and then send it to the fucking sun.

I was having a “discussion” with someone about sending astronauts to mars. He stated the first team should be all male, to prevent “space babies”.

Yep, it’s called taxis, uber or friend. You just pulled Pinkham’s law. Congrats.