My ex did this once. Only, he worked security at an oil refinery, used his own name and phone, and he thought it was a hilarious joke. He was utterly astonished that he got fired for it. He didn’t get charged with anything, somehow.

Petit larceny on petit fours.

I just cannot get over how ridiculous their latest tv ad/trailer is for this show. “The FBI’s sexiest recruits...in the best shape of their lives...all under one roof.” REALLY? It’s one step short of being like, “Young hot sexy people with guns solving crimes...also...boobs.”

I have a cousin there.

This is our second Hip show. I’m always amazed that they come here. Nobody else does, other than country people. And one time Elton John because he felt sorry for us.

Our 19yo daughter is home from college for the weekend. She is studying sustainable agriculture and food production. She brought home fresh goat milk from the college farm, and is teaching us to make Chèvre. Our little kiddo is becoming a strong, smart, feisty woman and it just makes us bust with pride. Tomorrow she…

Saw this on Imgur. I think y’all would like these:

Can’t hang out too long tonight. Going to see The Tragically Hip because I am a good little Canadian. :D Finally getting out of this house for a night!

Ravenclaw. All the way.

Ravenclaw all the way.

You take that shit back about Pitch Perfect. I won’t have it. I will not have it, sir.

Ever met an Australian? I totally believe it.

He’s a solid C+

Slap a cover on that and sell the ebook on amazon. That is erotic fanfic gold right there.

I think the only thing that bothers me is that we know about this. If the boyfriend had a good relationship with her parents and quietly went to them and asked if he could buy a ring, and they were ok with it, and if they had planned on engagement, ok. I just don’t know why it has to be on social media and in the…

you don’t get to make decisions like this for a dead person

Friendly note:

I love that the quickest, truest litmus test of “is this person obsessed with nail polish” is just to say the word “HELMER” and note their reaction.

“She wasn’t even a Christian until four years ago,” he says.

You mean the wad that slowly and stealthily migrated up your asscrack over the course of an hour?