That bug thing happened to me once, but it was a salad from a super fancy “farm-to-table” restaurant. I ordered a burger that came with a side salad, ate the totally delicious burger and then took a forkful of salad off the plate and saw a gigantor brown spider looking at me like “hey that was my blanket”.

My dad reads Consumer Reports religiously. I’d join in and make fun, but I legit call him any time I’m planning to make a purchase over $50, because they always just did a review of products and it’s always helpful.

It was great twenty years ago when we knew jack shit about expensive flutes (still playing the one we…

For real. No bugs will survive a deep fryer

Does anyone remember when that lady found a frog in her salad? This is why you shouldn’t eat healthy, people.

I too just announced my plan to run for President on Twitter. My platform is subsidizing tampons, ensuring everyone gets a bagel for breakfast, and pushing for mandatory Monday naptime.

NYE 2003: Long story short, I saw my long-term boyfriend making out with my “friend” (LIKE TWO HOURS BEFORE THE BALL DROPPED so there was no excuse). I screamed at him but didn’t bother with her because I didn’t want her to know she could get to me like that (she was SUCH a pathetic attention whore who lived for shit…

flushed my ex’s half pound of weed down the toilet and took his playstation directly to the pawn shop... still #sorrynotsorry.

i can’t be the only kid who grew up with parents who had a chest freezer & RARELY cleaned it out... when they did some reshuffling I guarantee I ate meat at least this old. AND I AM STRONG LIKE OX.

What an awful person...she admitted she was drunk, she tested waaaay over the limit, kills her friend and then pleads “not guilty”. I don’t care if she was handling a “rough breakup”; I’ve been dumped on my ass and not driven drunk. What’s she going to do if she has to live through a nasty divorce, pull out an Uzi at…

Is there anyone here who has successfully gotten their BC for free? I ask because I’m ready to take my insurance to task over this but I’m not sure where to start. If you did this, what steps did you take to finally get your BC for free?

Birth control should be in vending machines. Everywhere. For Free.

I am not a Carrie. I am not a Samantha. I am not a Charlotte. I am not a Miranda. I am a real woman who does not need to borrow a personality from a fucking TV show rife with bullshit stereotypes.

WHAT

TSwift burned him that one time. Dude on left just caught the backdraft I guess.

Let’s crucify her, then, so that we may wash ourselves clean in her divine blood.

Killing it as always Dr. Ruth.

Oh, she is worth every penny. I mean, she is critical to the well being of the British government.

CENTER STAGE! Holy crap do I love the final performance...

Ya gotta get on their level!