*looks around for coworkers*

CAN'T UNREAD. Unliked to like again.

Constance Payton is WAYYYY too close to constipation. Didn't anyone notice that before production started???

Well, I went a little nuts for the first few years of my daughter's life during birthday time, but I chalk that up to my birthday being completely ignored by my family (and actually forgotten when I turned 15) every fucking year. My mother would always say, "It's just like you, to be born at the end of the month when…

His pivotal role! That movie also remains Jen Aniston's best work.

No, they are idiots too.

I got into trouble with my sister's neighborhood moms. One of them threw a model party complete with audition tapes for 6 yr olds. I taught my niece to say "I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS!" so she did to the camera, my sister thought it was hilarious but the other moms were pisssed!

She's in that? That's not even that good of a song. Plus Iggy Azalea has a distracting name. Why would you even notice the others?

Do you hear that? It's the gnashing teeth of Adultosaur.

Pet peeve: when people say that a person has been doing [creative or artistic endeavor] since [very young age].

How much fun would it be to party with Cruella and Ursula? You would get shitfaced and try to pick up guys together and say scathing things about people that everyone else loves. Plus Cruella probably has some good coke, since she is the proto-Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous. Maleficent's invited too, mainly because we…

Just came here to say Little Mermaid is dope and so is Ursula....but FROLLO HAD THE BEST/CREEPIEST VILLAIN SONG OF ALL TIME.

I have a full routine prepared for singing Poor Unfortunate Souls that involves me being reluctantly pulled up on stage and then transforming into character. I've worked the whole thing out in my shower, where I perform it regularly. It's so good (the song. I suspect the routine is good only in my mind).

So this is the exact reason why I am so incredibly nice and forgiving to people who work in retail during the holidays. Also, yeah, the holiday rage has already started. Last night my husband and I were at Williams-Sonoma and the register situation was a HOT MESS. Some lady had a huge return that was taking forever,…

I was a ditzy junior high schooler. They talked to us about internet safety and "kiddie porn" and the cop noticed I was confused and asked if I had a question. I said "How do they get the cats to do that?" I like to think I've learned a lot since then :/

I really really hate to write what I'm going to write, I want you to know that, because it's one of those "life is unfair as a grownup" type things and those are the type of things that suck the hardest.

Work rant ahead, proceed with caution.

Today I bought a wedding dress! I realize it's a bit crazy because I'm not engaged yet, but I am wondering if it is full blown crazy. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5.5 years and have been discussing and planning bits and pieces of our wedding for about two years. We're planning to get married in two years…

Lil Baby Birdy is finally here! Since I've spoken so much about my pregnancy over the last few months, there's no way I could pass up sharing her during Saturday Night Social.

I'm a lurker on here and rarely post. I just wanted to say that sometimes, reading this on Saturday nights helps me feel less alone. Thanks internet people I'll never meet in real life!